Can we stay together? Be mine forever…
You reached into your pocket and pulled out a small, delicate bracelet.
“I want you to have this.” You said, and grabbed my left wrist and clipped it on without waiting for my reaction.
My brows furrowed as I stared down at it and watched it glimmer in the sunset. “T-Thank you.” Were the words that I simply uttered.
Glancing down at the bracelet again, ‘It’s really pretty.’ I thought, and a smile has formed in my thin lips as I turned my wrist to look at it from different angles. While turning it, I caught a glimpse at some writing along the side of it. Looking closer, time seems to freeze as I read in a beautiful inscription; a simple four letter word: ‘MINE’
I woke up every morning feeling her breath on my back, the pleasant sensation of her slender arm that gently gripping around my waist just a little tighter, and her body that nestled up next to me.
I used to love it.
I used to love the comfort and warmth of her embrace. Holding me securely in her arms and lulled me to peace. It made me feel so safe, loved and protected. There was a feeling of pure contentment, of satisfaction. And, a smile stretches its way across my lips each time I open my eyes and turned to my side, observing her beautiful sweet sleeping face greeted me.
Sometimes, she used to wake me up with a soothing morning kiss and I love the way she looked at me with those dark, long and thick lashes that lowered to me. There was joy behind every single glance that we exchanged. I definitely could not ask for more. With her, everything seemed so… fine and perfect.
But I was wrong, I was miserably wrong.
All those pleasant, beautiful and peaceful mornings that I’ve used to wake up—had turned into this; I was helplessly pinned to the bed, screaming,
“R-Rena-chan, wh-what do you think you’re doing?! Get off of me!”
Rena’s hands were gripping both of my wrists tightly over my head. Straddling my waist, with one lean thigh on each side of me and her hair sweeping past my face and tickled my nose. She just giggled.
A bitter giggle and said, “No. Tell me what you were doing talking to Mayu for so long and then I’ll let you go.”
“I didn’t do anything. Get off me please… I am not joking with you. Just get off of me.” I desperately begged her and tried to get free but failed.
Rena hissed into my ear. “Will you promise not to yell anymore?” Her hands keep me pinned.
“Yes!” I struggled against her hands on my wrists. It became severely painful, as the bracelet that she’d gave me is sinking deeper into my skin.
Rena let out a groan and stared down at me for a moment before letting go both of my wrists and lowered her hands around my throat.
Panicked, I instinctively grabbed her arms and summoned my strength to disentangle her hands off of me, preventing myself from being strangled. She squeezed harder and I wriggled trying to scream, but I couldn’t even squeal.
Rena grinned like crazy, she just watched me writhes and struggles underneath her, as she tightened her grip on my neck.
My eyes were stinging with tears when Rena leaned in closer and brought her face down, so that she could almost feel my face turning cold.
My watery eyes were closed as she released both of her hands from around my seemingly bruising throat and rested one hand above my chest. A moment to allow me to suck in some air, and then she got closer. Leaning in front of my face as I turned my head away from her, but she grabbed my face tightly, turning it back towards her and smashing her lips against mine.
Rena started kissing me harder, sucking my lower lip almost painfully, with her tongue invading and exploring every part of my mouth before I could take a second breath.
I inhaled sharply, gasping for air when her mouth finally moves off mine, and it went down over my chin then to my neck. Leaving a moist trail, as her kisses covered my skin. I tried to push her off when she started biting my neck and sucked on it, leaving another bruise. I moaned out a stop, but I guess she didn’t care at all.
Lying on the bed of disheveled sheets and still trying to catch my breath. Wondering how much longer do I have to endure this torture until she felt contented and stopped. To my relief, Rena slowly halted and rolled herself over onto my side with apologetic eyes that stared at me for a long time. I was shaking all over, and pulled my arms back to my body, hugging myself as if it could bring me some comfort.
“I was just joking, you know that right?” She started, “I was kidding. I would never hurt you. Just tell me why lately you are so cold to me? However, you’re so sweet to everyone else and so mean to me. You used to be so sweet.” She brushes my hair away from my face and rubbing her thumb over my cheek. Slowly calm me down.
“Maybe if you didn’t watch me at school like some stalker, I would be nicer to you.” I answered truthfully and shuddered painfully.
“I only do that because you make me not trust you. You still talk to Mayu and I see the way you look at her. I didn’t like the sight of both of you holding hands together because it drove me crazy! I don’t want to lose you when I finally got you.” She growls in a low voice, “I just want to make sure that you and Mayu are just friends. If I could trust you, then I wouldn’t have to come all the way over to your school to see what you are doing.”
Even if I explained to her (which I usually do) that I’m not cheating, that Mayu was only just my best friend, for sure all of my reasons and explanations would only fall on deaf ears. She never stopped creeping me at school, though I couldn’t see her there physically, still I could sense tingles in the back of my neck as though someone’s watching over me all the time.
“I love you, J. I’m gonna die without you.” In a syrupy voice together with the corners of her lips tugged upwards forming into a smile, Rena exaggeratedly whispered those words against my mouth and the tip of her nose touching mine, while her fingers skimmed over my skin.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I knew those were the wrong choices of words. Rena doesn’t love me; she was totally obsessed with me! And that’s freaking me out, so bad. Oh, how I badly wanted to shoved her away and scream at the top of my lungs for her to leave me alone and never bother me again. Yet, I know that would only cause more pain and trouble for myself. So, I just closed my eyes and let the tears roll freely over my cheeks. Making myself content and pretended that things were the way they had been before.
“Hey, Jurina don’t cry, I don’t like it when I see you crying.” Rena stuck her hand out to wipe the tears off my cheek. She switched over to sweet mode and slowly breaking me down with sweet talking.
She wrapped her arms around me, the embrace that shown me both heaven and hell. Again, I close my eyes and let myself be pet and calmed. Rena kissed me once more. This time, I just breathe steadily through my nose and had no other option but to let her do whatever she pleases, afraid that I would make her more upset if I protested. I let her undress me, grabbing my shirt, lifting it up and dragging it off my head painfully. By now, I gave myself to her without complaining. Rena’s love-making was raw, passionate, and almost angry. Certainly not like any of the shy fumbling that I’d grown used to.
“I’m gonna take a shower now okay?” Rena did not actually wait for my answer and went to the bathroom
Quickly, I sat up straight in bed after hearing the bathroom door slammed closed. With one thing in mind.
‘I need to get out of here.’
Gathering all my clothes and put them back on. But before I rolled my shirt down, the new and fresh bite mark above my breast along with the other faded marks didn’t slipped my eyesight. Rena did these markings to remind me that I was her possession and no one else would have me, aside from her. I didn’t think about putting my hooded sweater on, and hurriedly exited her apartment.
I smirked to myself knowing that after I closed this door, Jurina would flee out of my apartment right away.
‘Tsk, what a stubborn girl!’ I thought, and shook my head lightly with a smile graced upon my lips.
The funny thing was Jurina had always been like that, and I started to become quite accustomed by that attitude of hers. Every time she had seized a chance, she would leave me— and my apartment at once. Why couldn’t she digest the fact that she still had no chance of running away from me so easily, in spite of her efforts. She never learned.
I wasn’t mentally sick or anything. There’s nothing seriously wrong with me, but now I feel as if my love and obsession for her is making me developed a mental problem. I need her and I want her all to myself.
Taking my time washing myself in the shower, by this moment I knew Jurina was probably out of this building and running her way to their house. I chuckled and playfully biting the nail at my forefinger while opening the door and stepped out of the bathroom. As expected Jurina was nowhere to be seen.
Playing hide-and-seek with me again huh? Be sure to hide yourself somewhere else where I couldn’t find you. At the end of the day, I would find and bring you here, where you rightfully belonged. You can never hide from me.
“I really love this game!” I muttered out loud in excitement and my laughter echoes across the four corners of this room.
As my feet set outside the apartment building, I felt the cold breeze in my skin that made me shiver. Regret that, I should have brought my sweater with me, but I had no time to go back in there. Right now, I had to think where was I going to go? Rena would find me at my house. But even then, my house was so far away right now. Everything was so damn far away right now.
I just started running, after a few minutes, my lungs were hurting and I felt kind of dizzy. Also, the cramping in my stomach was making me cry and my face was twisted into a knot. My body is sweating, and I wanted to puke. I also want to stop running to give myself a little rest, yet I couldn’t, my legs just wouldn’t let me stop. Even though I had been running for a long time and was sweating a lot, still I felt damn cold.
How long had it been since I had left Rena’s apartment? How long would it be before she came looking for me? I ran past the apartment buildings around the neighborhood. I ran past the combini where she always bought her favorite melon pan. But it really didn’t matter how far or where I ran, did it?
The shoelaces of my sneakers had come untied and it didn’t catch my attention, until I tripped on them when I almost reached the little park. My chin hit on the hard pavement, and winced at the pain that rang in my head like a bell. I really wanted to just stay here forever sprawled out on the sidewalk where the tree roots had made a hump. Actually, I did stay for a while or maybe a minute.
My stomach growled for food as I realized that I hadn’t eaten anything since this morning. I recalled my mom told me that I should go home sometimes. I already missed eating her home cooked meat sauce spaghetti.
I eventually got up and sat against the big tree for a moment and tie my shoelaces in double knots. I wanted to lay back down as my head hurt and my legs hurt as well. I was still catching my breath and my lungs felt like crumpled balls of paper.
Noticing the droplets of blood that stained my white shirt, I immediately wiped my chin with the back of my hand and looked at the reddish pigment on my skin, but this wound is not important now. I need to leave this place as soon as possible before Rena appeared right in front of me.
It was time to stand up, and I walked down the side street feeling almost calm. Wondering, if this was the way that it supposed to be. I guess it must be, otherwise.
Asking myself… How was it that Rena always found me? The bruises and cuts that she’d given me every time I was captured. Do I deserve to be treated like this? Sure I was popular at school and some student around my age sending me letters, telling me how much they adore me. But how come I ended up falling head over heels in love with Rena?
Reminiscing about the day that we first met, and the first time we kissed. My heart was racing in my chest, as butterflies fluttered and danced a frantic dance in my stomach. Rena had seemed so shy at that time, and her beautiful deep-set eyes were always timid. Eyes that glared up from a down bent face and she barely spoke. Rena loved me so much and she was just afraid that I would leave her. The more she falls in love with me, the more she gets jealous.
That’s why she watched me at school, and even sending texts and calls most of the time. There’s an instance that I tried to avoid her, but she came into my house tapping the windows of my bedroom at three in the morning, begging to come in. There were also those times that she tied me and locked me up in her apartment when the two of us had an argument. I smelled my own blood soaking the carpeted floor of her apartment, the time that she’d seen me talking and giggling with one of my classmates inside the cafeteria near the school.
Rena was really an ill-tempered girl, and I had to be extremely cautious on doing something that would trigger her anger.
She do these things because she simply can. I don’t understand what I’ve done to her for doing this to me. I’ve been nothing but nice to her, but she’s a monster. She thought she doesn’t even have a problem and she doesn’t even need help—but she was wrong. She just needs to be somewhere locked up and confined… She’s crazy.
Today, I made up my mind and was done with all of this. I want to tell her that she was sick and that we were through. I wonder what Rena would do if I told her. I stopped for a second, envisioning her face above me as my throat tightened and my face drained blue. Then, a voice calling my name broke me up from my reverie and made me snapped back to reality. I turned my head to the voice, only to see Rena that was standing a few meters from behind.
“Jurina, hey! Where are you going? Let’s go back.”
I stared ahead and began walking faster. At long last, my home was only two blocks away. Pretending that, I didn’t heard Rena shouting at me and kicked my legs as fast as I could. I was almost home so, I ran and ran for a couple of more minutes and turned to look back once to see her disappeared.
‘Did I lost her? Maybe I really lost her.’
I whispered to myself, as I briskly turned to the corner and tried to get to my house another way. I went down the alley and stayed close to the wall and was almost to the end when I noticed Rena passed the alley. My mind was locked in terror and my heart goes from a complete stop to a hundred miles an hour, thundering in my chest and ears. I stopped dead in my tracks just in case I had been seen and exhaled loudly out of relief, thinking that she might not have noticed me. She might have been going to my house now, so I stayed leaning my back against the brick wall for a few minutes, wishing that I could stay here forever.
Then, I figured that maybe it was safe to go out and proceeded walking down to the end of the alley. I peeked out onto the street, started to become paranoid. Glancing around myself, to make sure no one is watching me; or more specifically—making sure that Rena was not there watching me. I felt very at peace that she was already gone. Maybe she was tired of looking for me or maybe she had just gone home.
I turned out onto the street, knowing that I would make it to the end of the block safe. My heart rejoiced from the thought, finally freedom was at the end of my fingertips, but—all the happiness I felt suddenly crashed down, when I heard Rena’s creepy giggle.
“JU-RI-NA… You can’t keep running away from me. I love you and you can’t make me stop.”
My body began to tremble. I was certain that Rena was just right behind me.
I want to step forward to leave, but I couldn’t do anything. My legs were paralyzed with fear that I felt resonating throughout my entire body. Sucking in a breath and turned around slowly, my eyes widened as my imaginations weren’t playing tricks on me. She really stood there like I knew she would be.
Rena’s head slightly tilting to the side with black coffee eyes staring back at me. A devilish grin spreading across her beautiful angelic face and flashes me her perfect row of pearly whites. She extended out her hand for me to grab.
‘It’s over. She’s inescapable, her love’s inescapable.’
I gave up all the fears, all the realities, all the pain, the hurt and life. As I saw my hand unconsciously took hers. My mind was screaming out for help and silent tears dripping even further down my cheeks that was covering my face. I cried into her hand, and I know Rena heard me. She was holding my hand firmly as we walked back to her apartment without any conversations.
“You’re mine now. No one else can touch you! No one else will love you like I do! I won’t give you to anyone. Never!”